Years have gone by and I still feel the burning pain of scars inflected by moral whips.
Freedom, yet like steel bars wrapped around me I feel the cold
shackles of rules gagging me to keep quiet. Pinning me to the ground
like a common criminal .
Freedom, but the mere touch of a hand that makes my world feel complete causes me to live in exile. Tearing our flesh apart forcefully with
threatening disgusted stares.
Freedom, but my voice still screams from behind a prison wall created in
their minds, where I remain until eternity. Wishing me away into
nothingness.
Freedom, but I still walk around lifeless, I still walk around voiceless,
our blood still haunts the streets, I still live in fear of my
"masters", freedom but I'm still not my own, I'm owned.
Trapped in the lines you've drawn for me to not walk between. Freedom.
Freedom, when only my hidden half makes me whole. When you break me every day with your one tracked minds.
Freedom, when every day I'm forced to rest in peace. Bidding me
farewell when you tell me who I should have been. Firing bullets when
I'm forced to see who you see.
Freedom, but your definition of freedom is defined only by you. You say
I'm free but I will never be free until you release your fears. Until
the fear of something you know nothing of, releases you. When you are
free, only then will I be allowed freedom.
Freedom does not come with conditions. I can never be free if the sight of my affection shatters your world.
When the lifeless body of stranger hangs because of the jabs you aimlessly throw, that can never be freedom.
When death is the only life I see for me because I live in vain, because
what I feel and I should have felt conflicts my very existence .
When I have nothing worthwhile to say because you hear nothing worth listening to. I'm worthless but not only to you .
How can I ever be free when I'm forced to fight for the rights of a
human as If I'm nothing more than a beast. When will you ever let me be
free. To feel, to live, to laugh, to love? When will you set me free so
that I can finally be me
I pray everyday to be emancipated but you hunt me down with every step I
try to make. Every time I try to break free I'm sentenced to fifty
lashes of ridicule, hate and injustice. You sever my legs so that I know
there's no running away from the truth. I'm not free.
I pray for the day I hold my lover's hand not pull away like reflexes when I feel someone approaching .
I pray for the day I stand beside my lover and not hope that we don't look inappropriately close.
I pray for the day I get to breathe and not feel overwhelmed with the
secrets I'm forced to keep, or the lies I'm forced to speak every time I
try to show who I am.
I pray for the day I get to pray and say "thank you father " and not
whisper in fear," protect me please..." Only then will I be free,
freedom for me will not only be a day.
- Anonymous.
Showing posts with label Literature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Literature. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Friday, January 26, 2007
A teenager speaks about sexuality and relationships
In a series of interviews about life in a time of
HIV/AIDS, this is a story from a 17 year old male
student from a senior secondary school.
Who am I?
I am a regular guy, I like girls, school, music , singing, making dance moves, movies, athletics ( I do well in the high jump and long jump,and relays), and most other sports. I am into computers and electronics. I like the Harry Potter books. My role models are Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump and Asafa Powell. I also admire other students in school who are disciplined, especially the religious ones; and the ones who have great athletic skill who could handle
themselves in situations. I am inclined towards Christianity, but I like the discipline which some Muslims seem to have. I do not understand the Hindu religion enough, the variety of Gods seems confusing. I am talkative, sometimes disrepectful towards people. I love Guyana.
About School
I really like my school, I think that the students there are really intelligent but there is a problem with discipline and I think that there should be better teachers and facilities to aid in the educating of the students. I sometimes get involved to solve the problems of discipline. I think things would improve if there is better teacher student relationships. I would like to see a student council set up.
About friends
I look for honesty, intelligence and that they must be fun to be with. My friends and I talk about sex,,music, movies and sports. We don't talk about HIV/AIDs. We talk about girls, the positions we would have sex in and so on. We don't talk about abstinence, because most of us want to lose our virginity. I used to want to wait until marriage, but then I compromised and a situation came up and I had sex, so I am like my friends. I don't discriminate against anybody.
About sex and relationships
I have had about four sexual partners, maybe one or two others. Two guys and two girls. I used condoms with both girls. With the guys, I felt guilty afterwards, though with my best friend, I did not feel guilty or regrets. When I was young, I was molested by a guy who worked with us. Nothing happened. A cousin and I messed around, and I feel that it was enjoyable, but that it was wrong and maybe I should do something about it. I did not use condoms with the guys, because
one of them was his first time, and the other one said he only had one partner. I realise that I should take an HIV test to make sure that I am okay. I really do not like the homosexual feelings and wish I could be like a normal guy. One of the girls who I really like,I enjoyed being with her. She is a lot of fun, we have been friends for a long time. She has another boyfriend, but maybe I will win her over. The idea of secondary virginity, is a good one, to say to my friends that let us try something different, see if we could master ourselves and say no, how long could we abstain if we wanted to. I don't know how they will view it, but maybe it is something we should think about. It would be difficult, guys like to feel that they could have a lot of sex. I think the messages have to be persistent to get over, some of us hear, we change for a while, and then go back to old ways.
What are the plans for the future?
I would like to get rid of my homosexual feelings. I am working on that, not sure where that will go though. I realise they are a normal part of me, but guilt is always there. At the same time, I have some assignments to complete. And to study for exams next year. I need to work harder at preparing for them. I want to pursue studies in computer science and electronics, and go abroad to study. I feel I could do anything I would like to do. I already make some money with computer repairs. The important things in my life are my family, education and God.
HIV/AIDS, this is a story from a 17 year old male
student from a senior secondary school.
Who am I?
I am a regular guy, I like girls, school, music , singing, making dance moves, movies, athletics ( I do well in the high jump and long jump,and relays), and most other sports. I am into computers and electronics. I like the Harry Potter books. My role models are Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump and Asafa Powell. I also admire other students in school who are disciplined, especially the religious ones; and the ones who have great athletic skill who could handle
themselves in situations. I am inclined towards Christianity, but I like the discipline which some Muslims seem to have. I do not understand the Hindu religion enough, the variety of Gods seems confusing. I am talkative, sometimes disrepectful towards people. I love Guyana.
About School
I really like my school, I think that the students there are really intelligent but there is a problem with discipline and I think that there should be better teachers and facilities to aid in the educating of the students. I sometimes get involved to solve the problems of discipline. I think things would improve if there is better teacher student relationships. I would like to see a student council set up.
About friends
I look for honesty, intelligence and that they must be fun to be with. My friends and I talk about sex,,music, movies and sports. We don't talk about HIV/AIDs. We talk about girls, the positions we would have sex in and so on. We don't talk about abstinence, because most of us want to lose our virginity. I used to want to wait until marriage, but then I compromised and a situation came up and I had sex, so I am like my friends. I don't discriminate against anybody.
About sex and relationships
I have had about four sexual partners, maybe one or two others. Two guys and two girls. I used condoms with both girls. With the guys, I felt guilty afterwards, though with my best friend, I did not feel guilty or regrets. When I was young, I was molested by a guy who worked with us. Nothing happened. A cousin and I messed around, and I feel that it was enjoyable, but that it was wrong and maybe I should do something about it. I did not use condoms with the guys, because
one of them was his first time, and the other one said he only had one partner. I realise that I should take an HIV test to make sure that I am okay. I really do not like the homosexual feelings and wish I could be like a normal guy. One of the girls who I really like,I enjoyed being with her. She is a lot of fun, we have been friends for a long time. She has another boyfriend, but maybe I will win her over. The idea of secondary virginity, is a good one, to say to my friends that let us try something different, see if we could master ourselves and say no, how long could we abstain if we wanted to. I don't know how they will view it, but maybe it is something we should think about. It would be difficult, guys like to feel that they could have a lot of sex. I think the messages have to be persistent to get over, some of us hear, we change for a while, and then go back to old ways.
What are the plans for the future?
I would like to get rid of my homosexual feelings. I am working on that, not sure where that will go though. I realise they are a normal part of me, but guilt is always there. At the same time, I have some assignments to complete. And to study for exams next year. I need to work harder at preparing for them. I want to pursue studies in computer science and electronics, and go abroad to study. I feel I could do anything I would like to do. I already make some money with computer repairs. The important things in my life are my family, education and God.
A teenager speaks about sexuality and relationships
In a series of interviews about life in a time of
HIV/AIDS, this is a story from a 17 year old male
student from a senior secondary school.
Who am I?
I am a regular guy, I like girls, school, music , singing, making dance moves, movies, athletics ( I do well in the high jump and long jump,and relays), and most other sports. I am into computers and electronics. I like the Harry Potter books. My role models are Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump and Asafa Powell. I also admire other students in school who are disciplined, especially the religious ones; and the ones who have great athletic skill who could handle
themselves in situations. I am inclined towards Christianity, but I like the discipline which some Muslims seem to have. I do not understand the Hindu religion enough, the variety of Gods seems confusing. I am talkative, sometimes disrepectful towards people. I love Guyana.
About School
I really like my school, I think that the students there are really intelligent but there is a problem with discipline and I think that there should be better teachers and facilities to aid in the educating of the students. I sometimes get involved to solve the problems of discipline. I think things would improve if there is better teacher student relationships. I would like to see a student council set up.
About friends
I look for honesty, intelligence and that they must be fun to be with. My friends and I talk about sex,,music, movies and sports. We don't talk about HIV/AIDs. We talk about girls, the positions we would have sex in and so on. We don't talk about abstinence, because most of us want to lose our virginity. I used to want to wait until marriage, but then I compromised and a situation came up and I had sex, so I am like my friends. I don't discriminate against anybody.
About sex and relationships
I have had about four sexual partners, maybe one or two others. Two guys and two girls. I used condoms with both girls. With the guys, I felt guilty afterwards, though with my best friend, I did not feel guilty or regrets. When I was young, I was molested by a guy who worked with us. Nothing happened. A cousin and I messed around, and I feel that it was enjoyable, but that it was wrong and maybe I should do something about it. I did not use condoms with the guys, because
one of them was his first time, and the other one said he only had one partner. I realise that I should take an HIV test to make sure that I am okay. I really do not like the homosexual feelings and wish I could be like a normal guy. One of the girls who I really like,I enjoyed being with her. She is a lot of fun, we have been friends for a long time. She has another boyfriend, but maybe I will win her over. The idea of secondary virginity, is a good one, to say to my friends that let us try something different, see if we could master ourselves and say no, how long could we abstain if we wanted to. I don't know how they will view it, but maybe it is something we should think about. It would be difficult, guys like to feel that they could have a lot of sex. I think the messages have to be persistent to get over, some of us hear, we change for a while, and then go back to old ways.
What are the plans for the future?
I would like to get rid of my homosexual feelings. I am working on that, not sure where that will go though. I realise they are a normal part of me, but guilt is always there. At the same time, I have some assignments to complete. And to study for exams next year. I need to work harder at preparing for them. I want to pursue studies in computer science and electronics, and go abroad to study. I feel I could do anything I would like to do. I already make some money with computer repairs. The important things in my life are my family, education and God.
HIV/AIDS, this is a story from a 17 year old male
student from a senior secondary school.
Who am I?
I am a regular guy, I like girls, school, music , singing, making dance moves, movies, athletics ( I do well in the high jump and long jump,and relays), and most other sports. I am into computers and electronics. I like the Harry Potter books. My role models are Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump and Asafa Powell. I also admire other students in school who are disciplined, especially the religious ones; and the ones who have great athletic skill who could handle
themselves in situations. I am inclined towards Christianity, but I like the discipline which some Muslims seem to have. I do not understand the Hindu religion enough, the variety of Gods seems confusing. I am talkative, sometimes disrepectful towards people. I love Guyana.
About School
I really like my school, I think that the students there are really intelligent but there is a problem with discipline and I think that there should be better teachers and facilities to aid in the educating of the students. I sometimes get involved to solve the problems of discipline. I think things would improve if there is better teacher student relationships. I would like to see a student council set up.
About friends
I look for honesty, intelligence and that they must be fun to be with. My friends and I talk about sex,,music, movies and sports. We don't talk about HIV/AIDs. We talk about girls, the positions we would have sex in and so on. We don't talk about abstinence, because most of us want to lose our virginity. I used to want to wait until marriage, but then I compromised and a situation came up and I had sex, so I am like my friends. I don't discriminate against anybody.
About sex and relationships
I have had about four sexual partners, maybe one or two others. Two guys and two girls. I used condoms with both girls. With the guys, I felt guilty afterwards, though with my best friend, I did not feel guilty or regrets. When I was young, I was molested by a guy who worked with us. Nothing happened. A cousin and I messed around, and I feel that it was enjoyable, but that it was wrong and maybe I should do something about it. I did not use condoms with the guys, because
one of them was his first time, and the other one said he only had one partner. I realise that I should take an HIV test to make sure that I am okay. I really do not like the homosexual feelings and wish I could be like a normal guy. One of the girls who I really like,I enjoyed being with her. She is a lot of fun, we have been friends for a long time. She has another boyfriend, but maybe I will win her over. The idea of secondary virginity, is a good one, to say to my friends that let us try something different, see if we could master ourselves and say no, how long could we abstain if we wanted to. I don't know how they will view it, but maybe it is something we should think about. It would be difficult, guys like to feel that they could have a lot of sex. I think the messages have to be persistent to get over, some of us hear, we change for a while, and then go back to old ways.
What are the plans for the future?
I would like to get rid of my homosexual feelings. I am working on that, not sure where that will go though. I realise they are a normal part of me, but guilt is always there. At the same time, I have some assignments to complete. And to study for exams next year. I need to work harder at preparing for them. I want to pursue studies in computer science and electronics, and go abroad to study. I feel I could do anything I would like to do. I already make some money with computer repairs. The important things in my life are my family, education and God.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Review - Love Poetry Nite, 11 Feb, 2006
SASOD and Oasis Cafe collaborated on a love poetry nite on Saturday 11 Feb, 2006. The event was well attended. There were diverse pieces read,
Love and yearning
Love sonnet XI – Pablo Neruda [Stacey]
Surpassing any love I’ve ever known – Linda Bray [Tamara]
My love, my wife, my mistress – Anon [Kojo]
The Great Lover – Rupert Brooke [John]
My eyes filled with your beauty – Krishna Prasad Konduru [Pinky]
Love and despair
From 20 poems of love – Pablo neruda [Rasheeda]
Happy valentine’s day – erin miller [Tamara]
O thou my lovely boy Sonnet 126 – William Shakespare [Keimo]
Thou blind fool love Sonnet 127 – William Shakespare [Stan]
Her voice – oscar wilde [Randy]
Song of despair – Pablo neruda [Rihan]
In praise of love
My lover stole my heart – Michelangelo [Mondale]
A red rose – Robert burns [Anton]
How do I love thee? – Elizabeth barett brown [Chevon]
She knows me more than anyone- staceyann chin [Alicia]
The Opposite of Love – Mr. Kaliedoscope [Keimo]
Touched by an angel – maya angelou [Kessy]
I Love Her So Much – Richard Pitman [Richard]
The poems can be downloaded from here
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the open mic, various persons presented their own pieces. the following one which is anonymous and downloaded from Wayne's Guyana Outpost was well received.
How Do I Love Thee - West Indian Style
You are the essence in my mauby
De fish in my fishcakes
I love you love you dearly
You are the lard oil in my bakes
You are the coconut in my sweetbread
De pigtail in my rice
Just like piece of curry goat head
I will love you till I dead.
You are the sardine in my gravy
The dumplings in my soup
I love you more than mi belly
Yes I love you bad fah true.
Like banana leaf around my conkie
I'll be always close to you
Sweet like sugar in your bush tea
I'll do anything for you.
You are the sauce around my Cou Cou
Hot like sweetbread when it done
I will stick to you like dandruff
Like the corns upon your toes
Like the fat around your belly
I'll be everywhere you goes
Cause you are my black pudding
And I know I am your souse
When you call I will come running
Like when a boar cat see a mouse.
Oh my pepper on my pork chop
Sweet like sorrel when it mix
When my hands caress your body
You feel just like a couple-six.
You are sweeter than a snowcone
I will give you all I own
You are sweeter than a hambone
Soft and sweet like piece'o'pone.
No one can take me from you
Not in this life or death
My Panya girl I love you
It's just your mudda me caant tek
Love and yearning
Love sonnet XI – Pablo Neruda [Stacey]
Surpassing any love I’ve ever known – Linda Bray [Tamara]
My love, my wife, my mistress – Anon [Kojo]
The Great Lover – Rupert Brooke [John]
My eyes filled with your beauty – Krishna Prasad Konduru [Pinky]
Love and despair
From 20 poems of love – Pablo neruda [Rasheeda]
Happy valentine’s day – erin miller [Tamara]
O thou my lovely boy Sonnet 126 – William Shakespare [Keimo]
Thou blind fool love Sonnet 127 – William Shakespare [Stan]
Her voice – oscar wilde [Randy]
Song of despair – Pablo neruda [Rihan]
In praise of love
My lover stole my heart – Michelangelo [Mondale]
A red rose – Robert burns [Anton]
How do I love thee? – Elizabeth barett brown [Chevon]
She knows me more than anyone- staceyann chin [Alicia]
The Opposite of Love – Mr. Kaliedoscope [Keimo]
Touched by an angel – maya angelou [Kessy]
I Love Her So Much – Richard Pitman [Richard]
The poems can be downloaded from here
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the open mic, various persons presented their own pieces. the following one which is anonymous and downloaded from Wayne's Guyana Outpost was well received.
How Do I Love Thee - West Indian Style
You are the essence in my mauby
De fish in my fishcakes
I love you love you dearly
You are the lard oil in my bakes
You are the coconut in my sweetbread
De pigtail in my rice
Just like piece of curry goat head
I will love you till I dead.
You are the sardine in my gravy
The dumplings in my soup
I love you more than mi belly
Yes I love you bad fah true.
Like banana leaf around my conkie
I'll be always close to you
Sweet like sugar in your bush tea
I'll do anything for you.
You are the sauce around my Cou Cou
Hot like sweetbread when it done
I will stick to you like dandruff
Like the corns upon your toes
Like the fat around your belly
I'll be everywhere you goes
Cause you are my black pudding
And I know I am your souse
When you call I will come running
Like when a boar cat see a mouse.
Oh my pepper on my pork chop
Sweet like sorrel when it mix
When my hands caress your body
You feel just like a couple-six.
You are sweeter than a snowcone
I will give you all I own
You are sweeter than a hambone
Soft and sweet like piece'o'pone.
No one can take me from you
Not in this life or death
My Panya girl I love you
It's just your mudda me caant tek
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Review - screening of My Brother Nikhil
The film was amazing, covered the story of gay swimmer Nikil Kapoor who was diagnosed with HIV in 1988. The film touched on his relationship with his family and also with his boyfriend, Nigel in a very subtle and sensitive way.
Most of the people who attended the screening at Sidewalk Cafe thought it was beautiful, though some thought it was too emotional and just 'sat outside'
Look out for our next screening in January.
Most of the people who attended the screening at Sidewalk Cafe thought it was beautiful, though some thought it was too emotional and just 'sat outside'
Look out for our next screening in January.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Readings from the Spectrum - Sat 19 November, 2005
SASOD members read from a series of gay and lesbian writings on Saturday 19 November, 2005 at Oasis Cafe, Carmichael Street. SASOD thanks Oasis for their support.
The session was opened with an extract from Alan Moore's Mirror of Love and then followed with a series of poems, some of which are here.
These included one from Stacey Ann Chin - http://www.staceyannchin.com .
Shakespeare - Sonnet 120
We might as well be lovers, the poet seems to say,
since men think us that already.
’Tis better to be vile than vile esteem’d,
When not to be receives reproach of being;
And the just pleasure lost, which is so deem’d
Not by our feeling, but by others’ seeing:
For why should others’ false adulterate eyes
Give salutation to my sportive blood?
Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,
Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
No, I am that I am, and they that level
At my abuses reckon up their own:
I may be straight though they themselves be bevel;
By their rank thoughts my deeds must not be shown;
Unless this general evil they maintain,
All men are bad and in their badness reign
Ghazl No. 10 from the Divan of HafizHis mop of hair tangled, sweating, laughing and drunk,
Shirt torn, singing poems, flask in hand,
His eyes spoiling for a fight, his lips mouthing “Alas!”
Last night at midnight he came and sat by my pillow.
He bent his head to my ear and said, sadly,
“O, my ancient lover, are you sleeping?”
The seeker to whom they give such a cup at dawn
Is an infidel to love if he will not worship the wine.
O hermit, go and do not quibble with those who drink the dregs,
For on the eve of creation this was all they gave to us.
What he poured in our cup we drank,
Whether the mead of Heaven, or the wine of drunkenness.
The cup’s smile and the wine boy’s knotted curl
Have broken many vows of chastity, like that of Hafiz.
A variation on the interpretation of E.T. Gray, Jr.
in The Green Sea of Heaven, White Cloud Press, 1995
______________________
From Yaraana - A collection of gay writings from India
Ashok Row Kavi wrote this about a conversations with his Swamis
Ganeshananda and Harshananda when he told them he was gay, in school.
This would probably apply to most of what else we do as Hindus.
The reply from one of the Swamis..
Look, what's wrong is relative. I don't think many rules made by man would be liked by God. They were written by men for men. Just as an example, it is considered good manners among Eskimos to offer their wives to strangers as a gesture of goodwill but it is wrong in most other cultures. Now, can we call the Eskimos uncivilized because of that? Don't get taken in by what others say is right or wrong. Drag everything deep into your heart, study it iwth discrimination and then ask the question - am I hurting any soul through my actions? Can the pain be avoided and if so for what goal? Is the goal worth achieveing?
When you get sound answers for those questions then go ahead and do it boldy and brazenly.
Be like Swamij (Vivekananada) and stop not until the goal is reached. Look you might be one [a homosexual]. Even if you are, so what. Men have loved each other since the beginning of mankind. You are not someone with horns.
Try and sort that out using those three questions I told you to answer. If the answers satisfy you then go ahead and make a life for yourself and fight for what you think is right. But remember then that
what is good for you should be good for all that think like you. It cannot be only right for your, and your right to happiness must mean the least unhappiness for others around you. ______________________________
RUAN-JI, lover of XI-Kang
Dong Xian, whose moniker was Shengqing, was a native of Yunyang. His father Gong was an Imperial Investigative Officer. He gave Dong Xian the job of attendant to the Crown Prince (who would become Emperor Ai). When Emperor Ai ascended the throne, Xian remained in his entourage. A little more than two years later, he was making a report outside the palace hall – he was beautiful and narcissistic - when Emperor Ai saw him and remarked on his manners and looks. He recognized Dong Xian and asked, "Isn't this the attendant Dong Xian?" Dong Xian was summoned to speak with the Emperor, who made him an Official-in-waiting. This was the beginning of his favor.
The Emperor then asked after Dong Xian's father, and the next day he made him Mayor of Baling and 光禄大夫. Dong Xian's favor increased daily and he was made Manager of Horses for the Imperial Attendant Carriages. He often rode in the same carriage with the Emperor when the Emperor went out. In the palace, he was always around the Emperor. In the space of 10 days to a month, the Emperor had bestowed upon him riches worth many tens of thousands. His honor and power shook the entire court.
He was often with the Emperor, whether standing up or lying down. Once, Dong Xian was napping across the Emperor's sleeve. When the Emperor wanted to get up, Dong Xian was unaware. The Emperor did not want to disturb Xian, so he truncated his sleeve and rose up.
MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI
– so gently! – and stole much more, my life as well.
And there, all promise, first his fine eyes fell
on me, and there his turnabout meant no.
He manacled me there; there let me go;
There I bemoaned my luck; with anguished eye
watched, from this very rock, his last goodbye
as he took myself from me, bound who knows where.
If, through our eyes, the heart’s seen in the face,
more evidence who needs, clearly to show
the fire within? Let that do, my lord, that glow
as warrant to make bold to ask your favor.
Perhaps your soul, loyal, less like to waver
than I imagine, assays my honest flame
and, pitying, finds it true – no cause for blame.
“Ask and it shall be given,” in that case.
O day of bliss, if such can be assured!
Let the clock-hands end their circling; in accord
sun cease his ancient roundabout endeavor,
so I might have, certain-sure, – though not procured
by my own worth – my long desired sweet lord,
in my unworthy but eager arms, forever.
What in your handsome face I see, my lord,
I’m hard put to find words for, here below.
Often it lofts my soul to God, although
wearing, that soul, the body like a shroud.
And if the stupid, balefully staring crowd
mocks others for feelings after its own fashion,
no matter. I’m no less thankful for a passion
pulsing with love – faith, honor in accord.
There’s a Fountain of Mercy brought our souls to being
which all Earth’s beauty must in part resemble
(lesser things, less) for an eye alert to truth.
No other hint of heaven’s here for our seeing,
hence, he that a love for you sets all a-tremble
already hovers in heaven, transcending death
Walt Whitman
When I heard at the Close of the Day
(No. 11, from ‘Calamus’)
When I heard at the close of the day how I had
been praised in the Capitol, still it was not
a happy night for me that followed,
And else when I caroused – nor when my favorite plans were
accomplished – was I really happy,
But the day when I arose at dawn from the perfect
health, electric, inhaling sweet breath
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and
disappear in the morning light,
When I wandered alone over the beach, and undressing, bathed,
laughing with the waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my friend, my lover, was on
his way coming, then O I was happy,
Each breath tasted sweeter – and all that day my food
nourished me more – and the beautiful day passed well,
And the next came with equal joy – and with the next,
at evening, came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll
slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands, as directed
to me, whispering to congratulate me,
For the friend I love lay sleeping by my side,
In the stillness his face was inclined toward me, while the
moon's clear beams shone
And his arm lay lightly over my breast – and that night I was happy
LANGSTON HUGHES
Still here
I’ve been scarred and battered
My hopes the wind done scattered
Snow has friz me, sun has baked me
Looks like between ‘em
They done tried to make me
Stop laughin, stop lovin stop livin –
But I don’t care!
I’m still here!
The session was opened with an extract from Alan Moore's Mirror of Love and then followed with a series of poems, some of which are here.
These included one from Stacey Ann Chin - http://www.staceyannchin.com .
Shakespeare - Sonnet 120
We might as well be lovers, the poet seems to say,
since men think us that already.
’Tis better to be vile than vile esteem’d,
When not to be receives reproach of being;
And the just pleasure lost, which is so deem’d
Not by our feeling, but by others’ seeing:
For why should others’ false adulterate eyes
Give salutation to my sportive blood?
Or on my frailties why are frailer spies,
Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
No, I am that I am, and they that level
At my abuses reckon up their own:
I may be straight though they themselves be bevel;
By their rank thoughts my deeds must not be shown;
Unless this general evil they maintain,
All men are bad and in their badness reign
Ghazl No. 10 from the Divan of HafizHis mop of hair tangled, sweating, laughing and drunk,
Shirt torn, singing poems, flask in hand,
His eyes spoiling for a fight, his lips mouthing “Alas!”
Last night at midnight he came and sat by my pillow.
He bent his head to my ear and said, sadly,
“O, my ancient lover, are you sleeping?”
The seeker to whom they give such a cup at dawn
Is an infidel to love if he will not worship the wine.
O hermit, go and do not quibble with those who drink the dregs,
For on the eve of creation this was all they gave to us.
What he poured in our cup we drank,
Whether the mead of Heaven, or the wine of drunkenness.
The cup’s smile and the wine boy’s knotted curl
Have broken many vows of chastity, like that of Hafiz.
A variation on the interpretation of E.T. Gray, Jr.
in The Green Sea of Heaven, White Cloud Press, 1995
______________________
From Yaraana - A collection of gay writings from India
Ashok Row Kavi wrote this about a conversations with his Swamis
Ganeshananda and Harshananda when he told them he was gay, in school.
This would probably apply to most of what else we do as Hindus.
The reply from one of the Swamis..
Look, what's wrong is relative. I don't think many rules made by man would be liked by God. They were written by men for men. Just as an example, it is considered good manners among Eskimos to offer their wives to strangers as a gesture of goodwill but it is wrong in most other cultures. Now, can we call the Eskimos uncivilized because of that? Don't get taken in by what others say is right or wrong. Drag everything deep into your heart, study it iwth discrimination and then ask the question - am I hurting any soul through my actions? Can the pain be avoided and if so for what goal? Is the goal worth achieveing?
When you get sound answers for those questions then go ahead and do it boldy and brazenly.
Be like Swamij (Vivekananada) and stop not until the goal is reached. Look you might be one [a homosexual]. Even if you are, so what. Men have loved each other since the beginning of mankind. You are not someone with horns.
Try and sort that out using those three questions I told you to answer. If the answers satisfy you then go ahead and make a life for yourself and fight for what you think is right. But remember then that
what is good for you should be good for all that think like you. It cannot be only right for your, and your right to happiness must mean the least unhappiness for others around you. ______________________________
RUAN-JI, lover of XI-Kang
In days of old there were many blossom boys --
An Ling and Long Yang.
Young peach and plum blossoms,
Dazzling with glorious brightness.
Joyful as nine springtimes;
Pliant as if bowed by autumn frost.
An Ling and Long Yang.
Young peach and plum blossoms,
Dazzling with glorious brightness.
Joyful as nine springtimes;
Pliant as if bowed by autumn frost.
Roving glances gave rise to beautiful seductions;
Speech and laughter expelled fragrance.
Hand in hand they shared love's rapture,
Sharing coverlets and bedclothes.
Speech and laughter expelled fragrance.
Hand in hand they shared love's rapture,
Sharing coverlets and bedclothes.
Couples of birds in flight,
Paired wings soaring.
Cinnabar and green pigments record a vow:
"I'll never forget you for all eternity. "
Chapter 93 of The Book of Han (THE LEGEND OF THE CUT SLEEVE) Paired wings soaring.
Cinnabar and green pigments record a vow:
"I'll never forget you for all eternity. "
Dong Xian, whose moniker was Shengqing, was a native of Yunyang. His father Gong was an Imperial Investigative Officer. He gave Dong Xian the job of attendant to the Crown Prince (who would become Emperor Ai). When Emperor Ai ascended the throne, Xian remained in his entourage. A little more than two years later, he was making a report outside the palace hall – he was beautiful and narcissistic - when Emperor Ai saw him and remarked on his manners and looks. He recognized Dong Xian and asked, "Isn't this the attendant Dong Xian?" Dong Xian was summoned to speak with the Emperor, who made him an Official-in-waiting. This was the beginning of his favor.
The Emperor then asked after Dong Xian's father, and the next day he made him Mayor of Baling and 光禄大夫. Dong Xian's favor increased daily and he was made Manager of Horses for the Imperial Attendant Carriages. He often rode in the same carriage with the Emperor when the Emperor went out. In the palace, he was always around the Emperor. In the space of 10 days to a month, the Emperor had bestowed upon him riches worth many tens of thousands. His honor and power shook the entire court.
He was often with the Emperor, whether standing up or lying down. Once, Dong Xian was napping across the Emperor's sleeve. When the Emperor wanted to get up, Dong Xian was unaware. The Emperor did not want to disturb Xian, so he truncated his sleeve and rose up.
MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI
– so gently! – and stole much more, my life as well.
And there, all promise, first his fine eyes fell
on me, and there his turnabout meant no.
He manacled me there; there let me go;
There I bemoaned my luck; with anguished eye
watched, from this very rock, his last goodbye
as he took myself from me, bound who knows where.
If, through our eyes, the heart’s seen in the face,
more evidence who needs, clearly to show
the fire within? Let that do, my lord, that glow
as warrant to make bold to ask your favor.
Perhaps your soul, loyal, less like to waver
than I imagine, assays my honest flame
and, pitying, finds it true – no cause for blame.
“Ask and it shall be given,” in that case.
O day of bliss, if such can be assured!
Let the clock-hands end their circling; in accord
sun cease his ancient roundabout endeavor,
so I might have, certain-sure, – though not procured
by my own worth – my long desired sweet lord,
in my unworthy but eager arms, forever.
What in your handsome face I see, my lord,
I’m hard put to find words for, here below.
Often it lofts my soul to God, although
wearing, that soul, the body like a shroud.
And if the stupid, balefully staring crowd
mocks others for feelings after its own fashion,
no matter. I’m no less thankful for a passion
pulsing with love – faith, honor in accord.
There’s a Fountain of Mercy brought our souls to being
which all Earth’s beauty must in part resemble
(lesser things, less) for an eye alert to truth.
No other hint of heaven’s here for our seeing,
hence, he that a love for you sets all a-tremble
already hovers in heaven, transcending death
Walt Whitman
When I heard at the Close of the Day
(No. 11, from ‘Calamus’)
When I heard at the close of the day how I had
been praised in the Capitol, still it was not
a happy night for me that followed,
And else when I caroused – nor when my favorite plans were
accomplished – was I really happy,
But the day when I arose at dawn from the perfect
health, electric, inhaling sweet breath
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and
disappear in the morning light,
When I wandered alone over the beach, and undressing, bathed,
laughing with the waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my friend, my lover, was on
his way coming, then O I was happy,
Each breath tasted sweeter – and all that day my food
nourished me more – and the beautiful day passed well,
And the next came with equal joy – and with the next,
at evening, came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll
slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands, as directed
to me, whispering to congratulate me,
For the friend I love lay sleeping by my side,
In the stillness his face was inclined toward me, while the
moon's clear beams shone
And his arm lay lightly over my breast – and that night I was happy
LANGSTON HUGHES
Still here
I’ve been scarred and battered
My hopes the wind done scattered
Snow has friz me, sun has baked me
Looks like between ‘em
They done tried to make me
Stop laughin, stop lovin stop livin –
But I don’t care!
I’m still here!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Film Festival Report - Week 2
Media Release – SASOD Film Festival – Week 2
“What will people say” was a recurring cry from families of gay and lesbian people depicted in the films screened during the second week of SASOD's Film Festival which continued at the Sidewalk Cafe in Middle Street. The films during the second week looked at the confrontation between sexuality and culture . On Monday night, Deepa Mehta's Fire was shown. Fire is a story of two women in loveless marriages who turn to each other as their husbands become more distant. One older woman said that the film was fantastic rather than very good as recommended by a friend. Another woman admitted that she never thought of same sex attraction in the context of emotional survival in a patriarchal scenario, and could not understand why the women did not go and find other men. Another gay affirmative man, felt uncomfortable watching the film saying that while the film confronted patriarchy and dealt with the religious issues which are used to oppress women, he wished that the director could have balanced that by also using some of the religious themes which also liberate women. Tuesday night's Touch of Pink, a comedy, was enjoyed by the audience of about 40 persons, especially by the woman who the night before did not support homosexuality and who admitted that she was starting to see things differently. One person regretted that the stereotypes of South Asian people, and of gay men were overdone. Another man cried at the ending. A mother also cried during parts of the film in which the mother confronted her son's sexuality. On Wednesday night, technical difficulties limited the enjoyment of Michelle Mohabeer's Coconut/Cane and Cutlass. Many people felt that the film's imagery was good, others said that they did not understand the film. Another woman said that she empathised with the identity conflicts of Guyana, India, North America, woman, lesbian. Many were surprised at the Guyana scenes, especially at the sound bite of late poet, Mahadai Das. The second film Child _ Play from Michelle Mohabeer was enjoyed by all. The film is a surreal allegory about colonial rape explored through the psyche of the molestation of an older woman (when she was a young girl of ten --by the spirit of a child molester. This film is described by Michelle Mohabeer as he best cinematic work to date. Some thought the acting could have been better, but were impressed by the story and the imagery. Mohammed Camara's Dakan. a love story of two men in Guinea, was the third film shown on Wednesday. Some people recalled the similarities in the dilemma faced by the mothers in Dakan and in Tuesday night's Touch of Pink “I want grandchildren”. Some people felt uncomfortable with the lengthy scene of the failed spiritual healing to cure the homosexual disease. A pastor dropped in on his way home, and expressed concerns that the laws were being broken at Sidewalk. He felt that the festival's theme ; A celebration of gay and lesbian love' was not an invitation to an honest discussion of the issues to remove discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation. Another priest who was there with his wife said he enjoyed the films which he had seen. A second lay preacher and his wife said that even though the films were a bit slow , they supported the idea of the film festival to continue to remove prejudices. The film festival continues on Monday 17th October at Sidewalk with two documentaries around homophobia and survival in Jamaica. Details are available at http://www.geocities.com/sasod_guyana .
“What will people say” was a recurring cry from families of gay and lesbian people depicted in the films screened during the second week of SASOD's Film Festival which continued at the Sidewalk Cafe in Middle Street. The films during the second week looked at the confrontation between sexuality and culture . On Monday night, Deepa Mehta's Fire was shown. Fire is a story of two women in loveless marriages who turn to each other as their husbands become more distant. One older woman said that the film was fantastic rather than very good as recommended by a friend. Another woman admitted that she never thought of same sex attraction in the context of emotional survival in a patriarchal scenario, and could not understand why the women did not go and find other men. Another gay affirmative man, felt uncomfortable watching the film saying that while the film confronted patriarchy and dealt with the religious issues which are used to oppress women, he wished that the director could have balanced that by also using some of the religious themes which also liberate women. Tuesday night's Touch of Pink, a comedy, was enjoyed by the audience of about 40 persons, especially by the woman who the night before did not support homosexuality and who admitted that she was starting to see things differently. One person regretted that the stereotypes of South Asian people, and of gay men were overdone. Another man cried at the ending. A mother also cried during parts of the film in which the mother confronted her son's sexuality. On Wednesday night, technical difficulties limited the enjoyment of Michelle Mohabeer's Coconut/Cane and Cutlass. Many people felt that the film's imagery was good, others said that they did not understand the film. Another woman said that she empathised with the identity conflicts of Guyana, India, North America, woman, lesbian. Many were surprised at the Guyana scenes, especially at the sound bite of late poet, Mahadai Das. The second film Child _ Play from Michelle Mohabeer was enjoyed by all. The film is a surreal allegory about colonial rape explored through the psyche of the molestation of an older woman (when she was a young girl of ten --by the spirit of a child molester. This film is described by Michelle Mohabeer as he best cinematic work to date. Some thought the acting could have been better, but were impressed by the story and the imagery. Mohammed Camara's Dakan. a love story of two men in Guinea, was the third film shown on Wednesday. Some people recalled the similarities in the dilemma faced by the mothers in Dakan and in Tuesday night's Touch of Pink “I want grandchildren”. Some people felt uncomfortable with the lengthy scene of the failed spiritual healing to cure the homosexual disease. A pastor dropped in on his way home, and expressed concerns that the laws were being broken at Sidewalk. He felt that the festival's theme ; A celebration of gay and lesbian love' was not an invitation to an honest discussion of the issues to remove discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation. Another priest who was there with his wife said he enjoyed the films which he had seen. A second lay preacher and his wife said that even though the films were a bit slow , they supported the idea of the film festival to continue to remove prejudices. The film festival continues on Monday 17th October at Sidewalk with two documentaries around homophobia and survival in Jamaica. Details are available at http://www.geocities.com/sasod_guyana .
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